Rich Merritt

Rich Merritt will speak at the AEN's June 16 meeting at the Sheraton Midtown Hotel at Colony Square. Informal networking will begin at 5:45 p.m. and the program will begin at 6:45 p.m. There is no charge for AEN members and a $20 charge for non-members. For more information, click here.

Rich Merritt is author of Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star, due June 7 from Kensington Books. His Website is www.richmerritt.com.

He was born in 1967 in Greenville, South Carolina. In 1973, his parents enrolled him in the first grade at Bob Jones Elementary School where he would receive his education all the way through high school. He then attended Bob Jones University for two years

While still attending BJU, Merritt enlisted in the United States Marine Corps Reserve. After returning from boot camp at Parris Island, Bob Jones University seemed unbearably narrow-minded and the exclusivity demanded by fundamentalism seemed the height of arrogance.

Within two semesters, Rich Merritt was expelled from Bob Jones University. He graduated from Clemson University and became an officer in the Marines, serving nearly eight years on active duty. He “came out” of the closet – at least, the closet of denial – at the age of 25 while stationed in Okinawa, Japan.

In 1998 Rich Merritt received an honorable discharge from the United States Marines Corps and in 2001 he graduated from the University of Southern California Law School. He is presently an attorney in Atlanta.

Rich Merritt now spends much of his time speaking to a variety of organizations. Among the messages he shares is a plum piece of advice given to him by a wise therapist: Our secrets keep us sick.

At least some of Rich Merritt’s secrets were shared in 1998 when a New York Times Magazine article included him in a cover story about gays in the military. The article described the day-to-day lives of gays serving on active duty in the armed forces under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”

Captain Merritt and the other active-duty service members quoted in the Times Magazine article were semi-anonymous, each identified by only one initial. The article created a national stir and “R” – as he was known in the article – was approached by his commanding officer. It seems the highest levels of Marine Corps leadership identified his veiled image as the anonymous Marine on the cover of the Times Magazine. Still, he was not prosecuted or discharged, for reasons you will read about in Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star.

The media came calling again as Captain Merritt was being honorably discharged from the Marines. An article, “Finally at Ease,” revealing Rich Merritt as the anonymous cover man from the Times Magazine appeared in the January 19, 1999, issue of the Advocate. A similar story followed in the Los Angeles Times.

Although Merritt had revealed a lot about himself to his interviewers, he had omitted some of his secrets. One of those omissions would soon blow up in his face and create an international firestorm of media attention. What Merritt hadn’t told the media was that, three years earlier, while on active duty in the U.S. Marines, he had appeared in eight all-male adult films.

A reader of the Advocate, who had previously been introduced to Merritt by a mutual friend, tipped the magazine to this missing puzzle piece. So, the cover of the February 16, 1999, issue of The Advocate included Merritt’s photo on the cover, and an article, “The Marine Who Did Gay Porn.”

Another story in that same issue, “Walls of Repression,” offered the following analysis: “Therapists say men who are driven professionally – like President Clinton, entertainer George Michael, and retired Marine Captain Rich Merritt – are more likely to compartmentalize their sexual feelings.” Following this second appearance by Merritt in the Advocate, the New York Times ran a disclosure article headlined “Gay Marine in Times Acted in Smut Films.” The Washington Post, The London Times, The Weekly Standard and The New York Post were among the many media outlets that also picked up the continuing revelations.

In the meantime, Merritt had discovered that increasingly popular gay circuit parties offered a convenient escape from the pain of secrets kept too long and the ensuing negative publicity. The euphoria of “party drugs” (particularly crystal meth), the lack of inhibition that is a hallmark of these events and the camaraderie he discovered along the way were effective antidotes. At least for a while. Inevitably, however, the good times faded and the problem of addiction became a new, undeniable “secret.” Suicide attempts became part of Merritt’s journey.

Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star is a story of self-forgiveness and self-discovery. It is a tale of the difficult path to an integrated, centered life, where forgiveness is sincere and love and friendships are paramount.

The Secrets

In Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star, Rich Merritt shares secrets and insights about gay rights, the Marine Corps, the adult-film industry, gays in the military, fundamentalism, politics, self-loathing, self-discovery and more. You’ll be surprised. You’ll be reflective. Ultimately, you may be heartened…and astounded…by how much of Rich’s story you identify with.

• What was it like growing up in the Bob Jones family of schools (http://www.bju.edu/bjes/, http://www.bju.edu/bjjh/ and http://www.bju.edu/bja/) and later, Bob Jones University (http://www.bju.edu/). What it is really like behind the “Fortress of Fundamentalism,” and how Rich ultimately came to reject and denounce their views.

• What it felt like for an adolescent boy struggling with sexual identity at Bob Jones Junior High School (http://www.bju.edu/bjjh/) to hear Dr. Bob Jones III, president of BJU, state that all homosexuals should be taken out into the streets and stoned to death.

• How a boy who was obsessed with pleasing his mother, doing well in school, never listening to rock music, and who didn’t have his first drink until he was 18…bursts into a life of drugs, promiscuity, pornography and suicidal thoughts.

• Why “Preacher Jim,” the first religious authority figure in little Richie Merritt’s early life, was forced to resign from the pulpit as the result of an alleged sex scandal.

• An attorney and decorated military officer’s view from inside a jail cell.

• Merritt’s encounters as a go-go dancer and a male escort: “I was thinking, ‘I can’t believe I’m about to have sex with a guy for money….’ Would I be able to? I didn’t even know what he would look like….”

• Personal stories of what life is like in the military under “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” “ My friend, Ross, looked at me and said, ‘people are calling you a ‘Clinton Marine’ because they’re saying you’re a meat-gazer.’ ‘Why would they think that?’ I asked. I was trying to sound blasé but I was really flustered and embarrassed. ‘Because of what happened in the Philippines,’ he said….

• An insider’s experience of working in the adult film industry: “In the next part of the scene I simply walked around the stall and the little guy got down on his hands and knees….”

• What it’s like be the personal aide to one of the most senior generals in the United States Marine Corps…and the politics and money behind high-level national security decisions.

• How he came to author a pro-gay op-ed piece – in the Navy Times – on the date of the Marine Corps’ Birthday. (http://www.navytimes.com/)

• Why Merritt chose not to reveal his porn past to the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/), which was otherwise revealing so many of his secrets: “(The Times) was looking for the golden boy; the guy you always imagine when you hear about gay men in the military. So I thought, ‘fine, I’ll present them with that image of myself.’”

• What it felt like to be held up to public ridicule after his porn past was exposed by The Advocate (http://www.advocate.com/): “I thought, ‘When is it going to stop?’ Every day I wondered where my name was going to appear next. When the London Times blurb came out, I started crying. It was just too much to deal with….”

• How Merritt’s own journey provoked the revelations of others, like a former Presidential campaign chair telling how she really feels about her nominee.

• The truth behind the use of street drugs and what the DEA, the Feds, the government and the general drug enforcement community doesn’t want you to know.

• Most importantly: How to find your way back from the treacherous traps of addiction, self-doubt, self-destruction and self-hatred.

"Merritt has written a powerfully honest and compelling story of living two lives. One is of service to his country and one is of courageously seeking to come to terms with being a sexual human being."

David Mixner,
former AEN speaker, Political Activist and Author of STRANGER AMONG FRIENDS

“Rich Merritt’s had an amazing ride, and his memoir rivetingly takes us along on it, tying together his disparate roles – good Christian, porn star, military gay – with saucy wisdom.  You couldn’t make this stuff up!”

Michael Musto,
THE VILLAGE VOICE